just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
