she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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