I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
