whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize