I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
