Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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