i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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