hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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