I don't think brook has ever known best
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
