Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
