the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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