i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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