I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
