I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
