"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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