After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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