She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
