He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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