i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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