Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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