I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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