I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Two words: blizzard sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
