is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
