I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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