It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
