i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
