How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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