we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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