meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
People in love make me want to vomit
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
