im drinking this country out of the recession.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
