Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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