I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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