i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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