we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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