Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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