he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize