Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize