I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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