I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
