If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
