I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
