Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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