I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
