Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize