He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
