just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize