What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
