1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize