I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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