but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
