Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize