we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
