North Korea, Best Korea!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
