ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
