This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
