I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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