OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
