Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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