You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
