whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
