I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
