Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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