Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
