i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
