Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
