Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
