Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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