There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Never underestimate the power of titties
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