Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
